Abraham Maslow pioneered the theory of self-actualization, turning conventional psychology on its ear with his increasing focus on the healthy individual. He was intensely interested in the notion of romantic love and its place in the human hierarchy of needs. While criticism was left off the list, a mistake Maslow has been routinely excoriated for in the vetting process since his theories were first published, that hasn't stopped the spread of blogs and blog criticism throughout cyberspace. While proponents love to paint a portrait of potentially promising progress through the production and proliferation of amateur/semi-professional criticism, garnering power once relegated to the editorial boards of America's largest free weeklies, there is a more insidious element running through blog culture today: raciiiisssssmmmmmmmmmm.
The text of the blogosphere is often sharply segregated, relegating white or black to the background to bring its opposite up the front. Only on occasion does one find a website with the bravery to truly integrate their css templates, utilizing text colors from all over the rainbow. Such casual racism is no doubt essential in reinforcing the segregationist fantasies of America's deep south and contributing dramatically to the overall isolation often experienced by the upper crust of the global literati.
What they fail to realize, of course, is that there's only so much carbonation in a Diet Pepsi can. One might shake and shake but the can will ultimately only produce enough fizzzz to spray four or five t-shirts sufficiently (six tops, pun intended), leaving each looking like the tail end of an epic Ibizian rave. Of course, once the globalized 1-2-3-4 beats of Villalobos fade each listener is still left with their arms outstretched, a bucket in each hand delicately balancing their happiness (Diet) and self-loathing (Regular... or Cherry, depending on your taste). Maslow would be crushed.
That brings us to the recent Frere-Jones/Wilson dustup and the resulting coughs throughout the always mercurial blogosphere. SFJ, as he is referred to by his expansive entourage, claimed record labels were the modern day extension of plantation owners, marginalizing black voices to appease their own east-Asian overlords. Wilson's response, delivered tabula rasa was that SFJ was himself ignoring the voices of the children of modern pirates (rumor has it Wilson was born "off the coast" of Indonesia... draw own conclusions) whose upward mobility has dramatically altered their means of music production and distribution. Tracing a line back to 60's arena-rock heavyweights Scritti Politti, the two were able to draw parallels between polite society's perception of pirates as bloodthirsty knaves and the growing acknowledgment of the necessity to pillage/plunder within twenty-first century culture.
Maslow would add that, within his hierarchy of needs, the creative impulse sits far above base instincts like sleep and sex. While one might often be compelled to decry looting as the result of an abnormal kink in the psychological chain, it is important to note the style and grace (and yes, creativity) that a truly expert sacking may require. Regardless of the color of the flag upon their mast, pirates are inevitably influenced by their forebearers. Just like an increasingly commercial, father-friendly indie rock scene, piracy is the inevitable result of a culture dedicated to material gains while still heavily reliant on boats to ship goods globally. What today's commercial freighter ships may lack in traditional stow-away space they gain in sheer storage capacity. A freighter can now carry up to 15,000 truck-sized containers. That's over 2.5 billion copies of Maslow's A Theory of Human Motivation. And if we as a people are ever going to solve the crisis afflicting the blogosphere, we will need an extremely sharp pirate sword to slice the gordian knot. We can't shake hands with knives in our palms so everybody just touch scimitars (is that what they're called????) and call it a day. The internet is too important for childish squabbling. Dick joke.